


Something stopping me

by beespiesandplaid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2018-05-15 20:00:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5797855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beespiesandplaid/pseuds/beespiesandplaid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monty wants Nathan. Nathan wants Monty. But sometimes the past gets in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something stopping me

Monty is the only thing that makes the night watch bearable, Nathan thinks, as he looks to his friend, stood beside him in the dark. Moonlight dapples his face, silver spots turning him almost ethereal. Monty grins at him, a little shyly, the way he always does. And Nathan has to catch his breath to stop himself from doing something stupid. He closes his eyes and breathes slowly. 

 

And then he feels Monty’s lips press lightly against his.  _ Shit. Shit. Why is he so goddamned cute and his lips are soft and warm and I… I can’t.  _

 

He jerks away, opening his eyes to see Monty’s face fall, shy grin replaced with a furious blush. Oh fuck. He doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want to see Monty’s smile fall because of him. 

 

“I...I can’t do this,” he whispers. Monty slumps against the wall behind them. 

 

“Why?” he whispers. “Did I read this wrong? You… the way you look at me, Nathan…” 

 

“I…” he thinks about just telling Monty he is straight, an easy lie that won’t raise too many questions. But Bellamy knows. 

 

“Who’ve you lost?” Monty whispers, and that makes it so much worse, that he can read him so easily. 

 

“I .. my boyfriend… he was from farm station. He…,” Nathan feels tears well in his eyes. “We’ve not accounted for any of them. Until I know… until…” 

 

Monty leans against his shoulder, his hair tickling Nathan’s cheek. 

 

“Yeah,” he says softly. “I know.” 

 

“I… fuck. I’m so conflicted, Monty. I want…” 

 

Monty looks him in the eye, lips parted, emotion evident in every muscle. “To feel something?” he says, soft and slow. “To just forget, for a moment? To just be human, primal, skin on skin... not alone?” his voice trails off to an embarrassed whisper but not before Nathan’s heart beat picks up, breath heavy. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about it. He tried, tried to stay true, but it was all so far away and Monty was here, grinning, lithe and beautiful and laughing in the face of death. 

 

“Don’t talk like that,” he whispers, and Monty smirks, just a little bit, enough for Nathan to know they’ll be alright. “But… yes. More than anything, I wish I could just…” he glances at Monty’s lips, the end of his sentence implicit. “But it’s not worth the guilt, Monty. I’d tear myself to pieces. I love him. I really, really do. Or I did.” 

 

Monty takes his hand. “This is OK,” he whispers. “This is enough.” He runs his thumb over Nathan’s hand in slow circles, and the contact is enough to make Nathan lose his train of thought. 

 

“Not nearly,” he whispers. “But for now, it will have to be.” 

  
  
  



End file.
